Camaro Rock!

camaro-rock

We all know ’em. Some of us still love ’em.   Camaro rock songs.  That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout (kind of confusing there with side by side apostrophes).  Wait, why I am using apostrophes? Or even using the WORD apostrophe? Camarorockers don’t care about no freakin’ apostrophes.  They just care about rockin’ man!  That, and gettin’ F’ed up on a Friday, Saturday, or any night for that matter.   Whether you be hangin’ out with your friends at the drive-in or doin’ a little pre-game (Camaro code for “party”) warm up in the parking lot at 7-11 these songs are sure to shake the primer/bondo off that front quarter panel and get tires screeching out of every high school parking lot in the land.  So here goes it. Our top 10 Camaro Rock songs. (You can click on the links if you want to hear the songs. Just in case hearing them a million times in your lifetime is not enough).

1. “I Can’t Drive 55” by Sammy Hagar.  THE anthem for Camaro rockers.  The Red Rocker encapsulated all the pent up rage, misplaced rebellion, and sophomoric high school mentality in one, well, not so cleverly, written song.  Still man, it rocks. Even though the speed limit has been raised since it’s release.

2. “Hot Blooded” by Foreigner.  Camaros ooze sexuality.  And no other song captures the essence of that sexuality like this one.  Great to make out to in the back seat or to have blaring out your windows while crusin’ on a hot summer’s night in Hooterville. Check it and see.

3. “Shakin'” by Eddie Money. This one was suggested by Ben. Good choice my man (that’s Camaro speak for “my friend”).  I think most Eddie Money songs would qualify here.  But “Shakin” grasps the Camaro mentality by the cajones and shakes it all over.  Right down to stealin’ daddy’s car.

4. “Jailbreak” by Thin Lizzy. Those turkeys at the Quik Stop will never know what hit ’em when you pull up with this rocker flyin’ (we don’t use the letter “G” when ridin’ in the Camaro queermo ((sorry that’s the Camaro speaking, not me)) out the speakers.  Probably the only Camaro rock song ever sung by an Irish dude.  Sorry Bono, even though you once had a mullet, your music doesn’t qualify.

5. “More Than A Feeling” by Boston. For the sensitive Camarorocker.  Best played after Camaro rocker tried to take an extra base in the backseat to the chagrine (for the intelligent Camarorockers) of his lovely, purile Camaress.  Sadly sung as he’s sees his Marianne walking away.

6. “And The Cradle Will Rock” by Van Halen. “Have you seen Junior’s grades?”  Just about sums up every Camarorocker’s parent’s lament as he squeals out of the driveway on a Friday night. They say it’s kinda frightening how this younger generation swings. F yeah!

7. “Cat Scratch Fever” by Ted Nugent. The Motorcity Hit Man never had any problems gettin’ tail and neither does the Camarorocker.  Although the quality of tail in question may not be of the level of the ‘Nuge”.  But it’s tail man! And that’s all that counts.  A Monday morning trip to the doctor for some Penicillin is usually the prescription for Cat Scratch Fever.  Or whatever other STD Camarorocker caught Saturday night.

8. “Dazed and Confused” by Led Zeppelin.  The glue sniffing (spent all his money on bondo, primer and new headers, no cash for real drugs) Camarorocker’s biographic anthem.  Not coherent enough to truly grasp the artistic qualities of the song, Camarorocker just likes it ‘cuz he can repeat the title over and over to his friends when describing his wastitude and still get a laugh.

9. “Freebird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Even the old lady (more Camarospeak. translation: girlfriend, wife, chick he’s doin’ it with) likes this one.  Camarorocker likes to sing this to his missus in a drunken stupor of pseudo romance just before they get in their weekly fight over why he still ‘aint got no job.

10. “Barracuda” by Heart.  What! A chick song! Yeah, but deep down Camarorockers like this song.  It’s basically a Led Zeppelin song sung by a chick.  So it’s allright.  Plus it’s about his other favorite car. Right? Yeah, whatever Camarodude.

There are countless others no doubt.  Feel free to write in with yours.

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5 Responses

  1. You forgot two :

    Smoke on the Water – Deep Purple

    Rock-n-Roll All Night – Kiss

  2. Here’s my top 10:

    10. Flirtin’ with Disaster – “Got the pedal to the floor, my life is runnin’ faster.” Every Camaro Rocker wants to portray the image of pedal to the metal 24/7. “Outta money, outta hope, it looks like self destruction.” Never truer words were spoken for anyone throwing their life away and pouring their money down the drain on a gas-guzzlin’ IROC Z28.

    9. Rock of Ages – There’s nothing more bad ass than knowing the words to a song, pretending you get it, and having no idea what in the hell their saying, “Gunter glieben glauchen globen!” All right, he’s got something to say and I have no effin idea what it is.

    8. Walk This Way – Every crater-faced tweeker driving a Camaro thinks he sounds just like Steven Tyler. Most just stutter through the rap and then belt out “Walk This Way!” as loud as they can.

    7. You Shook Me All Night Long – Gotta love the egos of Camaro Rockers. You’d be hard pressed to find a single one that has spent the night with a good lookin’ woman, let alone lasting all night with one. “She told me to come but I was already there.” Yeah. Premature ejaculation and then you slept until 10:30 the next morning.

    6. Here I Go Again – Ah yes, the powerful image of the lonesome wanderer searching for the answers. “I don’t know where I’m going. But I sure know where I’ev been.” WTF? Camaro Rockers love this song because it’s the same old chorus over and over and over. “I ain’t wasting no more time.” That’s about all you’re doing listening to that crappy song while trolling around high school parking lots.

    5. Sweet Home Alabama – “Turn it up!” Camaro Rockers need instructions. This song gives them one right up front. “Crank it, Cleetus!” Most Camaro Rockers hate Neil Young because of misunderstood lyrics in this song. Another example of needing to be told how to feel.

    4. Bohemian Rhapsody – Like Rock of Ages, we have no idea what is being said, but we’re singing as if we do. Scaramouche, Scaramouche. This one also allows the Camaro Rocker to show his misguided diversity and appreciation for “opera.” Bismillah!, Just let me go! Please.

    3. Runnin’ With the Devil – “I live my life like’s there’s no tomorrow.” You know it! Hangin’ out at 7-11, chompin’ on a Slim Jim, and playing Defender. That’s how I’d spend my last precious seconds on earth.

    2. Back in Black – Two songs from the same album? Hell yeah! In fact the entire AC/DC collection on cassette is mandatory gear for Camaro Rockers. A great air guitar riff up front, the name of the song are the first words, and the good ones know ALL the words.

    1. Hair of the Dog – This one’s Top Dog because you can swear as you sing. “Now you’re messin’ with a Son of a Bitch!” Damn right. Don’t mess with a Camaro Rocker. Check out the contusions and the black eyes from getting his ass kicked in the Carl’s Jr. parking lot.

  3. Bitchin’ list! I had called “shook me all night long” but hadn’t yet posted it.

  4. Amen bro. Wish they would come out with these sweet tunes on a single eight-track.

  5. I tried to add your blog to my feed reader, but it gives me an error. Any idea what I am doing wrong?

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